Before You go to Jail...
This past Tuesday in Oklahoma City, Eric James Torpy was sentenced to 30 years in prison for shooting with intent to kill and robbery. Torpy was unhappy with his sentence, but not for reasons you might think. He asked the judge to extend his sentence to 33 years instead of 30 because if he was going down, "he was going to go down in Larry Bird's number."
Now I'm a die-hard Boston sports fan, and even though basketball is not exactly my forte, everybody here knows and appreciates Larry Legend. While I understand his reasoning behind wanting to go down with the Legend's number, I'm not sure he picked the right Celtic great. Robert Parrish's 00 might have been a better request to the judge, even though he probably would not have been as accomodating as he was with the Larry Bird request.
But anyways, God Bless America. These are the events which make this country so great. And these are the events that get my brain turning. Because after all, I'd like to be prepared if I were ever faced with this situation. So here it is, the 5 sports players I would like my prison sentence to match:
1. Robert Gordon Orr (#4) - After pointing out the stupidity of Torpy for requesting more years on his prison sentence than he was already given, I figured its only right to start at the opposite end of the spectrum. From his graceful aerial acrobatics and end to end rushes, to his one man penalty killing, #4 revolutionized the game of hockey. While he still might only rank as the second best player of all time behind The Great One, even Torpy wouldn't have been that stupid, would he?
2. Doug Flutie (#22) - For any Boston fan, Dan Davis' call in 1984 against Miami will send shivers up their spine. Granted I was only one year old at the time, but even reading it gets me all worked up "Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown, Boston College! He did it! He did it! Flutie did it...He hit Phelan in the end zone...Touchdown!" Now 22 is probably a bit longer than I'd actually like to spend in prison, but I gotta pull for the little guy.
3. Christopher Trotman Nixon (#7) - Fine, so he was supposed to be the second coming of Yaz in Boston, and he hasn't exactly made us in Boston forget about #8 yet, but he's no slouch either. He does happen to be the Boston batter that swung through a take sign on a 3-0 count in game 4 of the 2004 World Series. Which resulted in a two-run hit that ended up winning the Red Sox the Series for the first time in 86 years. He may not swing a bat as big as Manny, but try and find a play that he takes off and you'll be looking at film forever.
4. Brian Gionta (#12) - You sensing a theme with the little guys here? Now playing with the New Jersey Devils, Gionta is generously listed at 5'7", let me tell you that that is very generous, I had a picture taken with him, and he was not very much taller than my 5'5" frame. And all he did as part of one of the best recruiting classes Boston College hockey has ever seen was win the Hockey East rookie of the year award, was a 4 year Hockey East All-Conference honoree, 3 year All-American, 3 time Hobey Baker finalist, brought a National title to the Heights, and oh yeah, became the first player in almost 100 years to score five goals in a single period. I don't care if he's 4'7", he could play on my team any day.
5. Tedy Bruschi (#54) - OK, I realize the judge might not exactly accept any of my first 4 choices as a replacement sentence. So if I'm going to go down for a legend, and really stick it to myself, who better to do it for than Tedy Bruschi. A member of all three Patriots Super Bowl teams, the unquestioned leader on defense, and the heart and soul of the team has given it his all. And it just seemed that any time during the four years when the Pats went to the Super Bowl three times that they needed a big play, #54 was there. I guess that #4 was there too, but if the judge doesn't accept my Bobby Orr request, what makes you think he'd accept one for Adam Vinatieri? Besides, I'm comfortable requesting the Bruschi sentence as a CJ major because I know that most people only end up serving half their sentences anyways, which works out to a measly 27 Winters behind bars.
Now I'm a die-hard Boston sports fan, and even though basketball is not exactly my forte, everybody here knows and appreciates Larry Legend. While I understand his reasoning behind wanting to go down with the Legend's number, I'm not sure he picked the right Celtic great. Robert Parrish's 00 might have been a better request to the judge, even though he probably would not have been as accomodating as he was with the Larry Bird request.
But anyways, God Bless America. These are the events which make this country so great. And these are the events that get my brain turning. Because after all, I'd like to be prepared if I were ever faced with this situation. So here it is, the 5 sports players I would like my prison sentence to match:
1. Robert Gordon Orr (#4) - After pointing out the stupidity of Torpy for requesting more years on his prison sentence than he was already given, I figured its only right to start at the opposite end of the spectrum. From his graceful aerial acrobatics and end to end rushes, to his one man penalty killing, #4 revolutionized the game of hockey. While he still might only rank as the second best player of all time behind The Great One, even Torpy wouldn't have been that stupid, would he?
2. Doug Flutie (#22) - For any Boston fan, Dan Davis' call in 1984 against Miami will send shivers up their spine. Granted I was only one year old at the time, but even reading it gets me all worked up "Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown, Boston College! He did it! He did it! Flutie did it...He hit Phelan in the end zone...Touchdown!" Now 22 is probably a bit longer than I'd actually like to spend in prison, but I gotta pull for the little guy.
3. Christopher Trotman Nixon (#7) - Fine, so he was supposed to be the second coming of Yaz in Boston, and he hasn't exactly made us in Boston forget about #8 yet, but he's no slouch either. He does happen to be the Boston batter that swung through a take sign on a 3-0 count in game 4 of the 2004 World Series. Which resulted in a two-run hit that ended up winning the Red Sox the Series for the first time in 86 years. He may not swing a bat as big as Manny, but try and find a play that he takes off and you'll be looking at film forever.
4. Brian Gionta (#12) - You sensing a theme with the little guys here? Now playing with the New Jersey Devils, Gionta is generously listed at 5'7", let me tell you that that is very generous, I had a picture taken with him, and he was not very much taller than my 5'5" frame. And all he did as part of one of the best recruiting classes Boston College hockey has ever seen was win the Hockey East rookie of the year award, was a 4 year Hockey East All-Conference honoree, 3 year All-American, 3 time Hobey Baker finalist, brought a National title to the Heights, and oh yeah, became the first player in almost 100 years to score five goals in a single period. I don't care if he's 4'7", he could play on my team any day.
5. Tedy Bruschi (#54) - OK, I realize the judge might not exactly accept any of my first 4 choices as a replacement sentence. So if I'm going to go down for a legend, and really stick it to myself, who better to do it for than Tedy Bruschi. A member of all three Patriots Super Bowl teams, the unquestioned leader on defense, and the heart and soul of the team has given it his all. And it just seemed that any time during the four years when the Pats went to the Super Bowl three times that they needed a big play, #54 was there. I guess that #4 was there too, but if the judge doesn't accept my Bobby Orr request, what makes you think he'd accept one for Adam Vinatieri? Besides, I'm comfortable requesting the Bruschi sentence as a CJ major because I know that most people only end up serving half their sentences anyways, which works out to a measly 27 Winters behind bars.
posted by Trevor at 5:54 PM
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