Twist

Now pretend for a moment that you don't despise Johnny Damon. Pretend for a moment that you did not see the other rendition of this ad on DirtDogs with the S's replaced by $'s. Well in that case, beautiful send off right? Not exactly.

Its more of an insincere apology for shooting his way out of town, and then turning around and shooting again once he was out. Its the proverbial twist of the knife in an open wound. Now don't get me wrong, I'm excited about Coco Crisp. I even like the way this Red Sox team is shaping up. But before all this debauchery surrounding Jonny Damon, I actually wouldn't have minded seeing him return (for less than 4 years and $52 million of course) to the Sox.

But since he did shoot his way out of town, and then try to recruit Manny and Big Papi to the Yankees, he can take his full page ad and... do whatever he'd like with it. I'm certainly not going to rush to the news stand to pick one up (albiet I am a day late). I think perhaps the saddest thing about this ad was that it is so basic, and so simplistic that Damon might have actually written this himself.

"It was a privilege and an honor." Please, that's something you would say after serving for General Patton, or some half-assed send off to a high class escort. Take it from my boy Drew Bledsoe here about a heartfelt thank you. A thank you is more than just signing your name to a boneheaded quote.

The problem is that some players just don't get it. They don't get it like Orlando Cabrera got it when he came to Boston. After playing the start of his career in Montreal where maybe 2,500 people showed up for the game, coming to Boston was like culture shock. It was like putting a fat kid in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet and suddenly it hits him, this is what I've been missing. Boston is what it feels like to play in front of fans that care. Boston is what it feels like to not sit in front of an empty seat. Boston fans boo and hiss and cheer because they like you. Sometimes they boo and hiss and cheer at you all in the same at bat, but either way, its because they care. Trust me, I didn't waste my time booing Ramiro Mendoza. He was a spy, or a bad pitcher, perhaps even a blend of the two. He sucked, I get it, why waste my breath booing him and risk spilling my beer about something we all know?

Boston appreciates players like Curt Schilling. We appreciate him because he talks to the reporters, and runs his mouth about computer games and politics, and nobody cares, because when the game is on the line, he comes through. We like him because he didn't just want to come here to win another ring, he wanted to come here to drive away 86 years of agony. And of course, we like that bloody sock. We like Jason Varitek because he broke his elbow diving for a routine and meaningless foul ball. We like him because he plays everyday he's allowed to, and never says a word. We like him because he never throws someone under the bus after a crushing defeat, but he's the first to praise someone else after a good win.

Johnny Damon crossed the line. And I'm not even talking about state lines, I hope he has fun in his pinstripes. He crossed the line with fans. He crossed the line with a city. Its not about the money he decided to take. Its about the lack of respect for where he came from. He can bad mouth the Sox all he wants from here on out, but nobody will ever forget his performance in Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS at Yankee Stadium.

Listen, you're in New York, you've got your money from the Boss, and you've got your Ferrari from Puma, enjoy it. Thats all. We don't want your full page, half-assed ads. And we certainly don't need you filling Manny's head with any ideas that don't involve hitting a baseball. When you leave New York in 4 years, if its for a destination other than retirement, you should take a look at Drew's ad. Take a look and steal some ideas for your farewell to New York. Ideas that involve building a team, and feeling like you and the city both got something good out of the deal. A realizaton that no matter how quickly the 4 years went by, you couldn't help but take a little bit of the city with you. Even if you hate that place, and you want out so bad you can taste it like a frat pledge and his first kegstand, at least pretend it wasn't that bad. At least have some class, and decency. Just because you had girly hair doesn't mean you can't be classy.