Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Vick Effect

Money can buy you a lot of things. Apparently common sense isn't on the list. I can think of a lot of things that I would do with infinite athletic ability, a Madden cover, a substantial contract with Nike, and oh yeah, a $100 million contract. Fighting dogs is not one of them. I'd buy my parents a house, I'd buy me a house, I'd buy myself a lot of cars, and I'd probably buy something that might return some money too. And when I wanted to get my gambling fix, I'd charter a private jet to take my friends and I to Vegas, and I'd gamble like there's no tomorrow. And when I wanted to see some fighting, I'd take my money, and I'd buy ringside tickets to the next Roy Jones Jr. fight.

See fighting in and of itself isn't bad. We have boxing matches; even UFC is mainstream these days. But the dogs don't have a choice. When dogs get feisty at a dog park, that's one thing. But putting them in a confined space with no choice but to fight or die, that's completely different. Some idiots think it would be a good time to step into the "cage" with Chuck Liddell, I'm not one of them, but its their choice.

There are cliche statements like "you can take the boy out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the boy." Sports is a stage unlike any other that lets us see that, magnified to the hundredth degree. So many young boys dream of one day playing professional sports, so few actually get there. But it seems that in this day and age, more and more try their hardest to piss it all away. Darryl Strawberry, Jason Giambi, Tank Johnson, Chris Henry, and now Michael Vick.

Its funny that Pacman Jones didn't get charged with anything in his latest run-in with the law, yet NFL commissioner Roger Goodell suspended him for the season. But in this new "get tough" NFL, Michael Vick still has technically not been suspended by his team, or the NFL, even though he's about to plead guilty to Federal dog fighting and racketeering charges. What a wonderful world we live in.

I'm not sure which commissioner of the four major sports has the worst job at this point. David Stern probably hasn't slept since the Tim Donaghy scandal surfaced. Now that Donaghy has plead guilty, and plans on naming other NBA officials in his gambling ring, Stern will probably continue with many a restless night.

Or how about Bud Selig? Baseball is America's sport. Everyone loves it. But then again, there was that whole Barry Bonds thing. Now I really don't care one way or another if Selig showed up at the record breaking game or not. But he should have come out and taken a stance on it. Recently, he was interviewed on HBO's sports show 'Costas Now' and it was almost painful to watch him. He was squirming in his seat like he forgot to put his Preparation H on that morning. And he beat around the tough questions as if he were afraid of his own shadow. Now in fairness, Bud Selig has brought a lot of good to baseball. Hate it or love it (I hate it), he's brought us inter-league play. He has also expanded baseball, given us the always exciting Wild Card, and kept baseball running without a work stoppage since 1994. But no matter what else he does, he'll always be remembered as the commissioner during the steroid era. An era that, like it or not, will not have an asterisk next to it in the record books.

Then there is Gary Bettman. Right about now you're all asking, who? And that's exactly the point. I've played hockey for as long as I can remember. There is no sport or activity that I enjoy more hockey. But America's interest in hockey is at an all-time low. Nobody cares, the league is more irrelevant than the Celtics were in Boston before they got Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett. And its a shame too. They actually have a good product to market, with young guns such as Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby, the game is getting more and more exciting. The future is bright for years to come. The only problem is that nobody is watching it. Major networks wouldn't pick up TV contracts with the NHL. And who could blame them after the league and players combined turned their back on the fans for an entire season?

And then there's Roger Goodell. The commissioner of perhaps the most marketable league in America right now. No work stoppages in a long time, the most watched single sporting event (Super Bowl) year in and year out, young marketable players, golden boys Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Seems the job couldn't be easier. Well, it probably isn't all that its cracked up to be right now. How do you handle a situation like the one he's in right now? One of the biggest stars in your game all of a sudden you find out is also one of the biggest stars in dog fighting.

There are a lot of terrible things that you could tell your mother, and I'm sure she'd still love you, but even mama Vick can't be proud right now. Mike Vick could probably run a 40-yard dash, and go back to the starting line before I could finish. He can probably throw the ball 50 yards farther than I can, with ten times the velocity. He can jump higher, turn quicker, stutter-step better, and do pretty much anything athletic better than I can. But there's one thing that I'll be able to do for the next three years better than Vick, anything I want. Because Mr. Vick will be on the schedule of a Federal penitentiary. Sure he'll get three square meals a day, but that can't be as appealing as it sounds.

So in this steroid era, pissing everything away will be known as pulling a Mike Vick. An eight figure bank account, and a world of athletic talent couldn't keep Vick from throwing away his future. Now the NFL, Nike and the Falcons are throwing Vick away instead. Though, the really funny part is that someone is going to do this again. Maybe it won't be dog fighting. But someone is going to screw up on a national stage again. And that time, it will not only have a name, but it will be infinitely stupid. Vick should be an example to all the athletes out there. Just like the first time you tried to play ball in the house, and broke a window, and your parents got mad, lesson learned. But instead here, you have millions of dollars, play a kid's game for a King's ransom, you see one of your peers flush it all down the toilet like late night Chinese food, and you're still going to do it. So the next time a star athlete decides that he wants to transport 300 pounds of marijuana in his car, it'll have a name. Or the next time one of those guys decides he wants to get drunk, blow some yay and kill a hooker, it'll have a name. But the next time you, who were blessed with common sense, thinks about doing any of those things, you'll say to yourself, "oh no, I'm not pulling a Vick."

So here's to wishing Vick a pleasant time in prison, and hoping that he never gets the chance to play another snap in the NFL again.