Top 9 Dumb Sports Rules
In no particular order, because well, they are all equally stupid in their own regard.
1. The ground cannot cause a fumble - Oh really? Wait, did you hang onto the football? No. Well then you fumbled it. No. Why not? Because, the ground knocked it out. And that's not a fumble? No. This rule just baffles my mind. I mean, everyone knows the ground is there. Its not like it comes out of nowhere to cause a fumble like a crazed linebacker. When it comes down to it, shouldn't the rule just be, did you hang onto the football? No? OK fumble! I don't want to know why, I don't care why, you did not hang onto the football, end of story.
2. Points for overtime losses in hockey - So I missed a full season of hockey, a full season of Stanley Cup playoffs. But thats ok, because the league is coming back, and they are going to make it better. All better? Nope, just a little bit better. I figured with a whole year off they would get all the rules right. No more ties was a good place to start. Thank God I don't have to sift through four columns in the standings anymore. But the NHL in it's infinite wisdom decided to keep a point for overtime losses. So inevitably there are still going to be three columns when I check the standings in the Herald. But wait, there are no more ties, so why are there three columns still? Wins - Losses - OT Losses. Oh, GREAT! Basically the ruling is, if you lose within the given sixty minutes of the game, your team is out of luck. But, if your team can hold off losing until say, overtime, or even the shootout, then you are going to get one point for that because the souvenir shop and concession stands were able to stay open longer. Here's an idea: you win, you get points, you lose, you get nothing, oh, and no ties.
3. The BCS - This is it. It is growing into its maturity. This is going to be the year when the BCS actually works. This is going to be the year that a college football playoff system is the farthest thing from anyone's mind. But, what if....Louisville ends up as this year's Auburn. Undefeated, but, strength of schedule just wasnt there. I can see the letter now: Dear Louisville, Congratulations on your remarkable and undefeated season. Your team was truly a treat to watch. But even though nobody could beat you this season, the best we can offer you is a chance to play for third place in the Sugar Bowl. Sincerely, The BCS. I swear, if the BCS contract gets renewed....
4. Ten game suspension for steroids - I just don't even know where to begin with this one. The MLB is supposedly cracking down. And we are led to believe that they really want steroids out of the game. But, even if you are still stupid enough to get caught using, you just get this slap on the wrist because it really isn't that bad that you were caught. If Jason Giambi is not the most tested athlete this side of Lance Armstrong, the MLB should be ashamed. Last week a batboy was suspended for six games because he accepted a dare from Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny to attempt to drink a gallon of milk in one hour. Six games for milk, ten games for steroids, thats a no brainer. They say milk does a body good, well, steroids make a body rich. And you only miss four more games for choosing steroids instead of milk, think about all that extra rest.
5. NFL crackdown on endzone celebrations - First off I applaud the NFL for marketing the game over the individual unlike say, the NBA. But, the NFL should also remember at some point that football is indeed a game. Players should be able to celebrate, they should be able to make fools of themselves. They can do it without props, I agree, no cell phones necessary. They can also celebrate without taunting the other team. But to say that they cannot gather, or celebrate in a groups borders on absudity. Listen, don't flaunt it, don't taunt, don't make rude or crude gestures, and don't use props. Other than that, I don't see the issue.
6. Intentional walks - They are part of baseball, and probably always will be. All I ask is that you make it look good. Throw it low and outside, throw it high and outside, just don't make the catcher stand up with his arm out like he's signaling a right turn. Here's a thought, the batter doesn't know that he's going to be intentionally walked, so he inadvertantly swings at a pitch you had no intentions of being a strike in the first place. Suddenly the count is 1-1. Interesting situation here, make the batter at least work for it. He has to do more than strike the fear of God into your coach to get a free base. If he can at least prove that he's got a good enough eye to lay off low outside pitches, then let him take his base.
7. Garanteed contracts - As TO recently found out, if you don't show up in the NFL, you don't get paid. It also works the other way around, if the team does not want you, they do not have to pay you. Unless of course you were smart enough to turn pro in baseball instead of football. Then those foolish owners are stuck with you. Could you imagine a world without the Great Giambino? Lucky for us it didn't happen, but if there were no garanteed contracts in baseball, this might have been the harsh reality. If someone is knocking the cover off the ball, or mowing down hitters, they should be compensated for it. But then again, if they aren't hitting over .200, why should the money from fans trickle down to a player who is enjoying the rest of his season on waivers?
8. All Star game decides home field advantage - The All Star game is an exhibition, and should be treated as such. Managers try to get all the players into the games. Players bring video cameras and their children into the dugout and clubhouse. A fan wins a house at the Home Run Derby. And generally, a fun time is had by all. A little competetive nature is always good, even in an exhibition. But not when the team is made up of undeserving players who were picked because their team needed a representative (*cough*Danys Baez*cough*), or when players who know their teams don't have a snowball's chance to make the playoffs are in the game and are just there having a good time. Solution, play the All Star game as the fun extravaganza it always has been. And award home field to the team with the best record like it always has been.
9. Three second violation in basketball - Essentially preventing zone defense in the NBA. Why? Because its tougher to score against. Was it tougher in college too? And call me crazy but, aren't these the best players in the world? Right, so, shouldn't they be able to score on, oh I don't know....anything? I understand, this rule is made to generate offense, because offense sells. So why move the three point arc out farther than it is in high school or college where these players are coming from? Are slam dunks on every other fast break really that much more fun to watch than seeing a team get slaughtered because they cannot defend the three?
What a stupid list. Why are there only nine you ask? Because I couldn't think of a tenth. Plus, everyone always does ten, so I did nine. I'm sure there are plenty more out there, but I couldn't think of one that I felt the need to write about. So there you have it, the nine dumbest rules in all of sports. If you can come up with a tenth stupid rule that isn't just fodder to get me to have a Top 10 list instead of a Top 9, then submit it, and I will be glad to make an adjustment.
1. The ground cannot cause a fumble - Oh really? Wait, did you hang onto the football? No. Well then you fumbled it. No. Why not? Because, the ground knocked it out. And that's not a fumble? No. This rule just baffles my mind. I mean, everyone knows the ground is there. Its not like it comes out of nowhere to cause a fumble like a crazed linebacker. When it comes down to it, shouldn't the rule just be, did you hang onto the football? No? OK fumble! I don't want to know why, I don't care why, you did not hang onto the football, end of story.
2. Points for overtime losses in hockey - So I missed a full season of hockey, a full season of Stanley Cup playoffs. But thats ok, because the league is coming back, and they are going to make it better. All better? Nope, just a little bit better. I figured with a whole year off they would get all the rules right. No more ties was a good place to start. Thank God I don't have to sift through four columns in the standings anymore. But the NHL in it's infinite wisdom decided to keep a point for overtime losses. So inevitably there are still going to be three columns when I check the standings in the Herald. But wait, there are no more ties, so why are there three columns still? Wins - Losses - OT Losses. Oh, GREAT! Basically the ruling is, if you lose within the given sixty minutes of the game, your team is out of luck. But, if your team can hold off losing until say, overtime, or even the shootout, then you are going to get one point for that because the souvenir shop and concession stands were able to stay open longer. Here's an idea: you win, you get points, you lose, you get nothing, oh, and no ties.
3. The BCS - This is it. It is growing into its maturity. This is going to be the year when the BCS actually works. This is going to be the year that a college football playoff system is the farthest thing from anyone's mind. But, what if....Louisville ends up as this year's Auburn. Undefeated, but, strength of schedule just wasnt there. I can see the letter now: Dear Louisville, Congratulations on your remarkable and undefeated season. Your team was truly a treat to watch. But even though nobody could beat you this season, the best we can offer you is a chance to play for third place in the Sugar Bowl. Sincerely, The BCS. I swear, if the BCS contract gets renewed....
4. Ten game suspension for steroids - I just don't even know where to begin with this one. The MLB is supposedly cracking down. And we are led to believe that they really want steroids out of the game. But, even if you are still stupid enough to get caught using, you just get this slap on the wrist because it really isn't that bad that you were caught. If Jason Giambi is not the most tested athlete this side of Lance Armstrong, the MLB should be ashamed. Last week a batboy was suspended for six games because he accepted a dare from Dodgers pitcher Brad Penny to attempt to drink a gallon of milk in one hour. Six games for milk, ten games for steroids, thats a no brainer. They say milk does a body good, well, steroids make a body rich. And you only miss four more games for choosing steroids instead of milk, think about all that extra rest.
5. NFL crackdown on endzone celebrations - First off I applaud the NFL for marketing the game over the individual unlike say, the NBA. But, the NFL should also remember at some point that football is indeed a game. Players should be able to celebrate, they should be able to make fools of themselves. They can do it without props, I agree, no cell phones necessary. They can also celebrate without taunting the other team. But to say that they cannot gather, or celebrate in a groups borders on absudity. Listen, don't flaunt it, don't taunt, don't make rude or crude gestures, and don't use props. Other than that, I don't see the issue.
6. Intentional walks - They are part of baseball, and probably always will be. All I ask is that you make it look good. Throw it low and outside, throw it high and outside, just don't make the catcher stand up with his arm out like he's signaling a right turn. Here's a thought, the batter doesn't know that he's going to be intentionally walked, so he inadvertantly swings at a pitch you had no intentions of being a strike in the first place. Suddenly the count is 1-1. Interesting situation here, make the batter at least work for it. He has to do more than strike the fear of God into your coach to get a free base. If he can at least prove that he's got a good enough eye to lay off low outside pitches, then let him take his base.
7. Garanteed contracts - As TO recently found out, if you don't show up in the NFL, you don't get paid. It also works the other way around, if the team does not want you, they do not have to pay you. Unless of course you were smart enough to turn pro in baseball instead of football. Then those foolish owners are stuck with you. Could you imagine a world without the Great Giambino? Lucky for us it didn't happen, but if there were no garanteed contracts in baseball, this might have been the harsh reality. If someone is knocking the cover off the ball, or mowing down hitters, they should be compensated for it. But then again, if they aren't hitting over .200, why should the money from fans trickle down to a player who is enjoying the rest of his season on waivers?
8. All Star game decides home field advantage - The All Star game is an exhibition, and should be treated as such. Managers try to get all the players into the games. Players bring video cameras and their children into the dugout and clubhouse. A fan wins a house at the Home Run Derby. And generally, a fun time is had by all. A little competetive nature is always good, even in an exhibition. But not when the team is made up of undeserving players who were picked because their team needed a representative (*cough*Danys Baez*cough*), or when players who know their teams don't have a snowball's chance to make the playoffs are in the game and are just there having a good time. Solution, play the All Star game as the fun extravaganza it always has been. And award home field to the team with the best record like it always has been.
9. Three second violation in basketball - Essentially preventing zone defense in the NBA. Why? Because its tougher to score against. Was it tougher in college too? And call me crazy but, aren't these the best players in the world? Right, so, shouldn't they be able to score on, oh I don't know....anything? I understand, this rule is made to generate offense, because offense sells. So why move the three point arc out farther than it is in high school or college where these players are coming from? Are slam dunks on every other fast break really that much more fun to watch than seeing a team get slaughtered because they cannot defend the three?
What a stupid list. Why are there only nine you ask? Because I couldn't think of a tenth. Plus, everyone always does ten, so I did nine. I'm sure there are plenty more out there, but I couldn't think of one that I felt the need to write about. So there you have it, the nine dumbest rules in all of sports. If you can come up with a tenth stupid rule that isn't just fodder to get me to have a Top 10 list instead of a Top 9, then submit it, and I will be glad to make an adjustment.
posted by Trevor at 1:28 AM
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